No. More. Deaths.

In the passing of one of the most horrific weeks - two mass shootings in 24 hours and three in 7 days - I decided to dedicate this blog post to all of those people. I am furious at the lack of gun control we have in this country. There will be a disability focus, because it can always be brought into these scenarios, but I want to honor and remember the now 41 (at least) deceased people with a week. To all the victims’ families and friends, to those who survived the attacks, to the whole communities of Gilroy, California, El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio: I am insanely hurting for you. I cried when my CNN notifications popped up, reporting another shooting. I am so sorry for all the loss. I’m sorry for the hatred and wickedness in this country. I send thoughts and prayers, but I also know that is not enough. My goal with this post is to spread awareness and speak my truth about this problem. Yes, I believe guns and murder are a problem in this country.

I will not get all Barnard Political Science major ranty on you - although if you do want to hear my full thoughts on gun violence, just call me and block out at least two hours - but I will say that something must be done about this. I completely understand that the rights to bear arms is our american right. Does it say the rights to own machine guns that shoot 600 rounds per minute? Hell no. It is 1791, we are not protecting ourselves from the British or French army anymore. I honestly do not think you need an AK-47 to go hunting for a deer or warn off intruders. I do not, in any way, have all the answers as to how we can solve this gun control problem in America, and especially lowering the number of deaths per year. What I do have for you, is my opinions and personal thoughts that might be of use.

I have almost become numb to this reality. I know that I do not truly know the feeling of surviving a massacre. I am fortunate and I thank God for that. However, my blood boils every time these incidences, and the hundreds before, are mentioned. Amist looking all the videos of dead bodies, I can’t help to think about how my disabled, no-running ass would survive in a shooting. I often try to make light of the fact that I am weaker than most; we even joked at my internship shooter training that I would be perfect survivor to run away because I can’t run or walk in a straight line so it would be harder to aim at.

All jokes aside, I do worry about myself, along with any other disabled people, in a dangerous scenario like a shooting. On Sunday, hours after the Dayton shooting, I went to go see Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (great movie 10/10 would recommend except it’s quite violent). At the theater, I spent ¼ of the time plotting out my escape in case something dangerous was to occur. I was sitting on the highest row, so it would not have been fun, nor ideal, to climb down the stairs, with people running and screaming. I have thought about this exact plan every time I have gone to the movies since I heard about the Aurora, Colorado shooting in 2012. Seven years of fear in movie theaters, all because I know that in a place where it is dark with many steps and many people, I don’t see any good outcomes. The same goes for church, school, malls, outdoor festival - pretty much anywhere where there is a large group of people in a particular area. In my 19 years of living, I should not live in that much fear, but unfortunately that is the life we live in.

That life should be lived in a “free” country, yet people are murdered for school shopping, going to a town festival, at a bar on a Saturday night, attending elementary, middle or high school, college, movie theaters, countless of places that should be everyday experiences. According to the Gun Violence Archive (https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/ for more sad but interesting statistics, including a growing list of every shooting in the last 72 hours), we have had more mass shootings than days of this year; there have been a total of 255 mass shootings since January 1, 2019 midnight and on the day of the El Paso and Dayton shooting, we were on day 211. Even looking beyond mass shootings, individual/minor gun related cases have been higher than necessary with 33,293 this year. It’s August, we still have 5 months left in the year. If I see another CNN notification on my phone - whether its another pair of young parents of three left dead, with their blood on their 2-month old baby, or a 6 year old boy, who had a whole fucking future ahead of him, killed - I will lose my shit.

I will leave you with my thoughts; there needs to be more regulations on who can buy a gun, what kinds of guns certain types of people can have, and the laws and punishment for those who do break the law, equally: white, black, cop, dog, zebra, literally anything with a beating heart. If you disagree with me, that is 100% ok, we are of course entitled to our own opinions and reasonings. The main thing I care about is that innocent people are not killed for doing basic ass, everyday activities. America, I really do love you, but you have a lot of work to do. We all do, but thoughts and prayers are only part of the work.

If you would like to leave comments, you have to log onto Wix, but I would love to hear your thoughts! I always do - but especially for this post. Or, feel free to email, text, facebook message, snapchat, send a pigeon to me.